dear max,
i'm happy. seeing you smile makes me happy. that's all i need to see. (:

my CTs are screwed. and i'm still supposed to be mugging physics right now. what am i doing here? hahahs i know i'm doomed. -.-  ¶ 8:56 PM

  dear max,
was looking through some of the past messages you sent me, especially the ones when we first called it quits and the one you sent me for my birthday. the msg is almost the same, "no matter what, i'll be here for you.." bullshit. yes. it's a bluff. where are you now? sigh. you're hardly there anymore.

"It's just cos it's not real love that's why they can take it as though it's nothing."
-teng on people that "change gf/bf like clothes"

hahahs.. i guess there's a modicum of truth in that. oh wells.

georgia! thanks for the call yest. hahahs.. you really caught me by surprise. (: was nice of you to call though. (: hahahs.. thanks. i love you too.. miss you and can't wait to see you when school re-opens. oh wells! we needta catch up! (:

lauratan`
hahahs! okay. hi! (: i don't have a webcam though. was at my cousin's house. that's why. (:  ¶ 7:43 PM

  dearest max,
i'll still be waiting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASPER! (:
hope you liked the mini birthday party cum gathering of your friends that we organised for you. (: heehees.. and your present too. (:

lynette. i swear you owe me a million and one favours i tell you. HRMPF. housework. more housework. all cos of you. my mama made me clean up after her and clean the stove and keep the clothes cos i reached home late la. HRMPF. PFFFT. BAH. you owe me more than a movie treat man. hahahs.. what "my princess"?! who's your princess la. not me. la la la. heehee.. but you know i can't stay angry at anyone. sheesh.

tag replies:
i'm so sorry that i can't remember where i stopped replying. HMMM.i shall just reply ALL the tags i see on the board.. here goes..

georgiatan`
georgia darling! heard you're down with.. stomach ulcer? mmm. rest well! (: missed you at today's party. hrmpf. only gideon and mark and hsienjun turned up. oh wells. thanks.. gee. you're so encouraging. -hugs-

michaelfeng`
you missed the party too! mmm. can't wait to see you again. then again. i haven't seen your bald head yet. i wanna see it. i don't care. shave it before i meet you. hahahahahahahahas...

eelingguay`
heyho! mmm.. you're another one who didn't come. haiyah.. mugging hard? (: mmm.. thanks for sukiyaki. (:

vanessako`
thanks dearie. got you a choco that's really cute. it's GEISHA brand. (: hurrhurr.

priscillialau`
yup. wells, it doesn't matter if you went or not. WE are ajchoir. you included. we win equals you win too. (:

jasperang`
yup was fun with you all in olomouc. (: hope you like the small party we threw for you today. (:  ¶ 8:33 PM

  [quotable]

i love a good laugh and there's nothing like the power of a smile.
-drew barrymore-

Never Had A Dream Come True
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be
cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you

max, this song's for you. it says just about everything i'd like you to know. yup. trust me, i AM trying hard. but even so, this is one thing i cannot just drop and walk away from, and you know that as well as i do.  ¶ 6:47 PM

  [mr & mrs smith]
oooh! that show's real funny. hees! (: wells. went to watch it with teng today.. mmm. was really funny la. brad pitt. he's oh so cute. hahahs.. good show overall. but still. not something i'd catch a second time. like.. once is real good. twice is an overkill. mmm. yup yup. hahahs.. but i had lotsa fun la. was nice. and i conclude that yoghurt drinks ain't all that bad, but not my first choice drink still. hahahs.. sorry lynette and teng. heehee.

mmm. one year. geees. time passes so quickly.  ¶ 11:00 PM

  victory is sweet [victory is sweet]
dobri den everyone! (: i'm finally back from olomouc. (: well. it was helluva experience for me, as it was for every single person there in the competition. joys and sorrows, but it was mostly good for ajchoir i guess. (: mmm. i'll try to be brief lest i bore you with the details. (:

day one.
met at changi airport, sang no importa la distancia which was severely out of tune. hahahs.. that got mr kwei really.. pissed? hahahs.. but who cares about that now right? (: so we flew.. to bangkok.. then to helsinki... then to prague. first 2 flights were with rjchoir, was rather fun with zhizhong and denise choong, would have made more friends like ivee, grace, chernise and audrey if not for their teacher-in-charge that doesn't seem to think very much of us and hence not like us.. and that toh ban sheng. ooh i so dislike him cos he looks at us with disdain. well. he shouldn't you know, we should be the ones looking at him like that but we aren't so he shouldn't either. okay enough of rj.

day two.
after 3 flights, we were positively exhausted. really. take off, land, take off, land, take off, land. our guide met us at prague airport. had lunch at some chinese restaurant just at the edge of old town square in prague. didn't know i'd cherish that so much.. you'd know later. changed money at old town square, otherwise didn't have much to do cos there was so little time. on a tight schedule. 3 and a half hour bus ride to the registrar's office where we registered for the competition. then bought a little groceries to sustain us for the trip, like water and breakfast and the like. that supermarket didn't sell very much local produce so i didn't get anything much. checked-in to our hotel and had dinner in the hotel. the first of many chicken meals. hahahs.. but i'd bet the first meal was the best. the chicken they served got progressively worse. hahahs.. got confined in the hotel that night cos mr kwei wanted everyone to rest.

day three.
had our first breakfast. the normal european spread, stuff we'd be eating for the rest of our breakfasts in europe. took a morning walk outside the hotel and a small group of us sang outside. was freezing cold cos i was wearing aj uniform. short A-line skirt. the wind was chilling and strong. was shivering like nobody's business. oh wells. ut had fun la. was out with liru, luke, mark, then zhixiong, kangseng, shawn lee and chinguan joined us. 6 guys 2 girls. wow. severely overpowered la. so we had concert marathon in reduta[the place where we thrashed ac TWICE.] and afterwhich we walked over to grosser saal narodni dum to have a look at the competition venues. sang our competition pieces at reduta during the concert marathon, wanted to do pok pok alimpako but mr kwei spotted 3 ac spies and since we were both doing the same piece for the same competition, he wisely decided to keep it a surprise. (: practiced in the really echo-ey 10th floor. nice i like it up there.

day four.
sprained my ankle right outside after walking off a pavement. went to watch the children's choirs folklore category cos we were to compete there in nadorni dum the next day, wanted to have a feel of the hall first. the choirs were all good i guess, everyone's prepared for such a large scale competition. there was this girl, i think she's epileptic, she sorta had a fit and fainted on stage and she fell from the risers halfway through the song with a loud THUD. the kids were visibly disturbed, but they moved on with their other 2 songs. poor kids. packed lunch was horrible so most of us threw it away. visited the st mauritz church with its beautiful organ. prayed there for the competition and for all of us. had lunch, found a nice little store selling good cheap food in a small alley. 225 kronos for 6 people. that's about.. 7.70 euros. good deal eh? (: especially in european countries where you generally can't get a good meal for under 3 euros a person. got my watch for 545 kronos with an extra strap. my only indulgence. went back to the hotel, more practice, and confinement yet again.

day five.
D DAY. can't really remember what happened, except that it was really tense that day. was hoping my ankle won't be too much of a hindrance. our competition at reduta hall was.. screwed up. really. we were all disgusted at our lack-lustre performance, though mr kwei said our "feel" was there. hahahs.. but we weren't hopeful. walked over to some chapel in some columbarium to do warm ups for our next competition. then we walked over.. well. i hobbled over to the next venue. narodni dum for the folklore competition. was quite good, though i really forgot what was the third song. so there was a long pause cos i was thinking really hard. hahahs.. i finally remembered. so it was okay i guess. but we thought that our performance was okay. (: went back to the square. really tense. when we heard we had 99 out of 100 for the competition, we were like.. screaming our heads off la! (: we were so happy. then they announced ac got 100 points for the folklore category and the choir people were like.. crying?! i mean.. who cries when they get 99 out of 100 points?! hahahs.. so weird. yes, i was disappointed, but yet i was thankful that we did quite well. (: so the overall score is this..
folklore:
AJ-99/100
AC-100/100
superior youth category:
AJ-99/100
AC-96/100
hahahs.. mr kwei said we should have beaten AC. they probably won cos they had elaborate costumes and we just wore our gown and suits, or else that one point was cos someone forgot the choreo for the end. no names here, those who know who it is.. well. you know then. (: but anyhows, we sorta won them. as mark says, the category title is like winning the premierships. we're like liverpool. we don't win the premierships, we win the championships. well. essentially our version of the championships has only 2 choirs in it. us-liverpool, and ac. (: so there. we were so darn happy. the title absolute winner didn't mean a thing to us. it really didn't matter if we won or lost. of course winning absolute winner of the festival would have made things better, but our main objective has been achieved. and we weren't high and mighty like them. (: well. maybe not all of them are like that but you just need a good number of them to look at us with slit eyes and you know THAT'S IT. we'll fight to the end cos we've got nothing to lose. we're the underdogs. if we lose, okay, just reinforces that ac's a good choir as it always had been. if we win, it's a major ego deflation for them and an encouragement to all those who hold ac in the same regard as us.

day six, seven, eight.
little needs to be said. we just went wild. that's it. hahahs.. had lotsa fun, boring tours.. but in general, everyone was in high spirits. it was hard to wipe the smiles off our faces. even kelun was joking with us. (: he seemed so much nicer towards the end of our trip. (: only did shopping in helsinki and prague. but even so, couldn't get much cos they always brought us to the major shopping districts. where they sell stuff you can get in singapore. except you pay the same or even twice the amount plus it takes up luggage space. i might as well buy it in singapore. sang some of our songs when we arrived in singapore again, this time i cried when we sang no importa la distancia. gosh. does this really mark the end? i leave, with no regrets.

so there my dear j1s. it's now up to you to complete the race that we've run with you. bring ajchoir to greater heights. we've worked so hard to bring the choir this far. do us proud, do mr kwei proud and do yourselves proud.

SOME THANKS ARH!! (:

the link to watch the finals can be found here.

oh yes. one last thing. ajchoir peeps. no worries. i don't think our folklore category which ac won 100 points was a "superior" category. that means.. they're not in the "Societas Superior". i took this off the website..
- the choir that obtains the total number of 100 points in the category "Superior" becomes a member of the society "Societas Superior"
- in the categories "Superior" the compulsory song is covered in the whole contest time
- to the contest of the absolute festival winner will be nominated always one choir from category: children's, boy's-, youth- and adults choirs basing on the point appreciation and on the preferential points
so technically.. we still win. WAHAHAHS.. (: and i think we were a wild card entry cos they usually have 5 choirs in the absolute winner thing but they probably found it a pity we couldn't sing so they put us through, making this year's absolute winner competition a 6-choir event. be thankful for that.  ¶ 1:47 PM

  today´s the day of competition. oh no. hahahs.. we´ll finally know whether our hard work pays off. well. it was freaky yesterday, watching the children´s folklore category, one girl fainted stage la! scary. anyways, i sprained my ankle but still gonna stretch it to¨the max with choreo anyway. we´re already almost at the end. give it your best shot aj! (: gosh. seeing all the ac peeps at the lobby now. somehow i feel a little.. envious? cos they´ve got nice costumes. ethnic ones for the folklore category. well. rich i guess. beggers can´t be choosers. oh wells. oh nicholas, i see ernest and joanna here. but i don´t think they know me. can´t talk to them either cos i heard they´ll be scolded if they´re caught talking to us. weird. gotta run. practice in the tenth floor now. pray for us!  ¶ 2:45 PM

  in th hotel now, hotel flora in olomouc. having lotsa fun! their keyboard is like re-configured so it´s really hard to type. hahahs. really windy and cold here. nice. are you jealous? (:  ¶ 2:37 PM

 
a card i made for my auntie and uncle.


my finger cast.


liru made a stand on my cast.


mark signing his usual treble clef and me doodling. (:


sarah's pretty butterfly and charlene in orange  ¶ 9:49 PM

  [son-in-law?]
timothy timothy timothy. hahahs. ain't you gonna be glad that my parents are shamelessly promoting you to me like some wonder product? hahahs.. geeees.

okay. so i FINALLY told my parents about mark. hahahs.. and my mama was like.. "hahahs! i knew it." HMMM. mother's instinct probably. so we were like talking about relationships for an hour, which is like.. WHOA considering me and my mama can't hold a conversation for long without her shouting at me. hahahs! but today was nice. i like this mother-daughter thing. wish we could do it more often. well, minus the timothy part la. so we started the conversation with her saying why i should seriously consider timothy as a future partner.. yadeedadeeda.. and then talked about mark. then timothy.. and mark.. boing boing boing.. bounce here and back. then yiwen and my bro.. and BACK TO TIMOTHY AGAIN. and boing boing boing.. ended off with well.. you guessed it. timothy. hahahs.. and even my dad joined in la! hrmpf. both of them ah.. -shakes head-

had practice at siglap today [last pract in singapore. -sobs-] and then headed down to princess to catch monster-in-law for 5 bucks. (: jasper was like.. stoned when the movie was over la! hahahs.. i think it was too much of a chick flick. he couldn't take it. but me and lynette were highly tickled. i think jasper was more like.. disgusted. at the cliches. heh! had fun anyway.

flying off tomorrow. boy oh boy. i'm so excited! (: oh yes. i saw denise [julian's ex] at choir pract today. she's in nus choir! hahahs.. oh yes. anyone wants to come send the choir off tomorrow? we're going to prague and olomouc in czech republic and helsinki in finland. (: meeting at terminal one in changi airport at 1930 hrs at the finnair counter. hahahs! publicity annouincement. (: rjchoir's flying the same flight as us i think. but they're not going to the same competition. (:

my family, where it is today, is nothing short of a miracle. my parents got married with their marriage bed as the only furniture in the entire house. not even a kitchen cupboard. now we live pretty comfortably.

"give and it will come back to you, good measure pressed down, shaken together and running over."

okay. so i shall let his name end my entry.

timothy chan.  ¶ 8:50 PM

  quizes
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

discover what candy you are @ quiz me
  ¶ 7:47 PM

  the winning team [the winning team]
suring sermon today, dennis milner, our cluster head said in his sermon,

"we all like to be part of the winning team."

come to think of it, it's really true. i mean, who likes to say, "hey, i'm from the team that lost and i'm proud of it."? well, i'm sure that's not me. when our panther cheerleaders won, i felt so happy and so proud[in a good way] cos i know somehow, i contributed to the success of the team. when pl handbells got the only gold with honours, i felt so happy and proud to be associated with them, my juniors. although i know it's all their effort, but they're my juniors, and somehow, you just can't help but feel happy for them achieving success too. when ajchoir got gold with honours, i'm sure we all were elated. charlene reiterates my point. "when some of my pre-u sem friends said that 'you're from ajchoir, the one that got gold with honours and sang bin-nam-ma really well right?', i felt so good la!" so you see, i guess it's all part of us humans. we all like to be part of the winning team. i'm sure the liverpool fans can now vouch that. (:

the point is.. we all can be part of the winning team. God's team IS the winning team. what victory is sweeter that the triumph over death? the prize? eternal life of course.

come join the winning team. (:

my aunt and uncle just popped by this afternoon to drop off the euros they changed for my trip for me. and they gave me an esprit wallet and 300 bucks in shopping money. tell me why i'm such a lucky girl. (:

"uncle peter and auntie siew wai spoils you man."

saturday after choir practice, the j2s were like.. mad. we were all saying.. "bye bye choir room.. bye bye choir cupboard.. bye bye keyboard and piano.. bye bye wall.. bye bye choir room door.." you get the idea. sigh. life without choir after the trip is.. unimagineable.

.......

pearllam`
-waves- (:

eelingguay`
you're welcome dear. (: anything that i can help i will. hees.. well i guess we all have to make that concious decision to just stand up and walk away. it's tough, it's hard, but we have to do it. it's just better for everyone that way. much as we don't like it. urgh. :
priscillialau`
thanks. (: heehees.. wells, enjoy your hols and mug hard for mids. (: you better do well since you're not coming with us. hope to bring back good news. hees!

georgiatan`
-hugs back- i miss you lots too. sighs. tell me why i hate hols. hahahs! i got no excuse to constantly meet up with you in school! eeeks. am i.. getting addicted to you? :\  ¶ 6:56 PM

  reflections [reflections]
sometimes, even after going through so much pain, you come to a point where you learn to love even the person that inflicted the most hurt on you. the person that caused you the most misery. perhaps, this is what God beant by learning to love your enemy. i'm learning, slowly but surely.

we love, because Christ first loved us.  ¶ 7:51 PM

  random rants. [random rants.]
fourth day. and my head is still spinning. throbbing. hurting like hell.

hope i don't collapse at choir again today. monday was enough thank you very much. i don't want to be made to lie down again during practice. oh gosh. but the headache now.. ouch. i can't guarantee anything.

gosh. come to think of it, it's only.. 12 more days and we're out of choir. adious. sayonara. goodbye choir. sheesh. and me and edna were like.. "NOOOOO!!!!!" hurrhurr. choir. our jely-clique. sigh. i don't want this to end.. heh. retain? (:

just finished reading angels and demons. mmm.. let's see. i started the book at.. 9 plus? slept at 12.. or before that. and.. i continued this morning at 8 plus, finished reading the book at.. 1.30? hmmm. that was fast. (: but hahahs. so much for excitement. now i've got a splitting headache, and my only consolation is.. i finished reading the book? HMM.

somehow, this school hols is passing faster than the rest. maybe cos there's so much to be done in so little time. even though i'm down to 3 subjects.. but still. heavy-duty. brain over-load. help.

tasks aplenty, there's also parting. goodbye choir. goodbye max. goodbye to my life. all that i busied myself with for the past year plus. i see my whole life crashing before me, and i sure am scared. very.

hope against all hope, at least there's the unchanging ONE. somehow i feel very blessed to be born INTO a christian family, cos there's always something around the house, something someone does or says that just points you back to HIM. relief. phew. enough of all this holy gamolly["what's that?" i don't know. just an expression i guess.] here.

somehow, i look forward to next week. independence. freedom. exploration. new insights. yet all the same, i don't want it to come cos it'll end all too soon. the end of the trip marks the end of my life. and the start of a new one. no prizes for guessing. the newest live movie coming up. wanna watch it? hop on down to AJ. a bug's life. a MUGGER's life. hurrhurr.

oh. something i realised, i don't know if this was intentional or not. Alpha-Bravo Camp, aka ABC. Delta Experience, aka DE. put together, ABCDE. AJ is TRULY an academic instituition. ho ho ho.

alright. enough of ranting for now. time to get back to packing my luggagge, to books and to.. housework. eeeks. "keep the clothes jeanette.. pack the house.." yes mommy.

i just want you back. is that so difficult? ohwells. maybe it is. complicated stuff. time to LET GO.

let go. let GOD.  ¶ 1:38 PM

  dear max.. dear max..
thanks for filling the gap when i was hurting so much. now that you're.. sort of gone? mmm.. the old hole is plugged, but you just dug up a new one. oh wells. i'd give anything to relive the good ol' times. well. almost anything. (: and.. if you haven't already noticed, i cannot look at you in the eye for long anymore. cos no matter how hard i try to show that i'm alright, my eyes cannot lie.  ¶ 1:27 PM