old
Saturday, April 29, 2006
lost.
have you ever felt like you don't know what exactly is it that you want out of life? that you thought you knew but suddenly you're not so sure of it? that you felt you had everything and now, nothing? that you're walking round in circles all the time? that what you have right now all seems like an illusion?
i get these bouts of uncertainties, and it leaves me feeling utterly confused. and it seriously does not help if people keep sending mixed signals. when i kinda know what you're thinking about, yet upon reflection, i'm not so sure anymore. i thought i knew you.
perhaps i was wrong.
i get these bouts of uncertainties, and it leaves me feeling utterly confused. and it seriously does not help if people keep sending mixed signals. when i kinda know what you're thinking about, yet upon reflection, i'm not so sure anymore. i thought i knew you.
perhaps i was wrong.
Monday, April 17, 2006
michael dunstan feng
I don't know what prompted me to read your blog last night, but I just went there anyway. Suddenly, a pang of sadness just gripped me, the thought of losing you so quickly perhaps.
Still remember when I just got together with Mark, and he told me so much about you, how much you meant to him as his best friend. Well, of course I wanted to make a good impression on you, reason being you were such an important figure to him. But the more he told me about you, the more afraid I was in meeting you, because you seemed so.. How shall I put it? Holier-than-thou?
The first time I actually met you was when we went to the airport to welcome you. Truth be told, I was more than apprehensive. I mean, we've talked over the internet [thanks to Mark and friends passing around my email address, well I spoke to most of his friends on msn before meeting them. =l] but it is totally different when it comes to face-to-face. Our meeting was brief, hellos exchanged, that was it. Time however allowed us to grow a little closer. When we parted ways, somehow I found it still as easy to talk with you.
So I was having dinner with my friend Tiong Jin, and he is somewhat just like you, from Australia, back to serve NS, family in Australia, heading back there, downgraded to being a clerk from sispec, same batch as you. And I wondered, wow, isn't it fast how people come and go? Sigh, you were such a good buddy, telling me much about the catholic faith. I still remember the times where I taught you how to fold straw hearts, or when we were scouting for bong's present. I suppose we're both the same, sentimentality can kill us both.
Now that you're in Sydney, discovering what God has for you, I pray for you and wish you all the very best. Come back safe mikey.
I do miss you so very much, big bro.
Still remember when I just got together with Mark, and he told me so much about you, how much you meant to him as his best friend. Well, of course I wanted to make a good impression on you, reason being you were such an important figure to him. But the more he told me about you, the more afraid I was in meeting you, because you seemed so.. How shall I put it? Holier-than-thou?
The first time I actually met you was when we went to the airport to welcome you. Truth be told, I was more than apprehensive. I mean, we've talked over the internet [thanks to Mark and friends passing around my email address, well I spoke to most of his friends on msn before meeting them. =l] but it is totally different when it comes to face-to-face. Our meeting was brief, hellos exchanged, that was it. Time however allowed us to grow a little closer. When we parted ways, somehow I found it still as easy to talk with you.
So I was having dinner with my friend Tiong Jin, and he is somewhat just like you, from Australia, back to serve NS, family in Australia, heading back there, downgraded to being a clerk from sispec, same batch as you. And I wondered, wow, isn't it fast how people come and go? Sigh, you were such a good buddy, telling me much about the catholic faith. I still remember the times where I taught you how to fold straw hearts, or when we were scouting for bong's present. I suppose we're both the same, sentimentality can kill us both.
Now that you're in Sydney, discovering what God has for you, I pray for you and wish you all the very best. Come back safe mikey.
I do miss you so very much, big bro.
Easter sunday, my church's 70th anniversary dinner.
Ruth Yap, Silas' sister. Marc claims that he's her boyfriend. -.^ She's the darling of everyone.
I told you my cell group's a bunch of whacked up people. The following three photos are proof. Pictures don't lie...
Friday, April 14, 2006
Maundy Thursday
My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death... My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will... My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless i drink it, may your will be done.
-Excerpts from Matthew 26.
No words can be more apt to describe how I feel than these.
-Excerpts from Matthew 26.
No words can be more apt to describe how I feel than these.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
nothing beats simple fellowship.
i never knew how much i loved just chilling with wilfrid and ivy till today. (: they had us over, me and my bro, and they prepared dinner for us. so niceeeee. haha and we had a fun time, me especially, all giggly cos of all the funny "bed-time stories" they were telling. heheee! (:
so it was just a one-dish dinner with the two of them and my bro, with nice baked chips for starters and salad too. (: oh we got to know how the salad was made too! haha. stories galore. but we all had fun la. i loved it. if not for the marking which ivy was ready to let me do, i might have stayed a little longer?
perhaps.
so it was just a one-dish dinner with the two of them and my bro, with nice baked chips for starters and salad too. (: oh we got to know how the salad was made too! haha. stories galore. but we all had fun la. i loved it. if not for the marking which ivy was ready to let me do, i might have stayed a little longer?
perhaps.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
forced leave may be a good thing after all. (:
Ahhh. A well-deserved break at long last. (:
It never fails to amaze me how God always provides. I mean, my supposed two-week job stint has lasted me more than 2 months already and my boss is intending on keeping me till June. God says "Do not worry about tomorrow...". He provides! (:
Today I went to the columbariums to pay respects to my grandparents and great-grandparents. I saw my grandfather's picture for the first time today, and I realised that I had been looking at a mini him all this while! My dad. Haha. Same face man. (: And when I went to my gramma's niche, tears just welled up in my eyes. I recall the times visiting her where she would pretend to be fierce and scold us but we all know she loved us so. (: I remember her painful departure, not so much pain for her physically but pain for us emotionally. She was a strong lady, my gramma, pulling the family through when my granddad was not with the family physically. And what I admire about her is her reflective self, whereby she can just sit there and think about the day's events when everyone was asleep. I miss my gramma even though she was not exactly model-gramma [she smoked! And I cannot stand smoke.] but she was in many ways more perfect than me. Memories of her will always stay with me. I also saw my great-grandparents niches, opposite each other haha! So cool. They'll be looking at each other all the time man. (: But yeah. Today was an experience to behold. Many firsts.
In the reflective mood.
It never fails to amaze me how God always provides. I mean, my supposed two-week job stint has lasted me more than 2 months already and my boss is intending on keeping me till June. God says "Do not worry about tomorrow...". He provides! (:
Today I went to the columbariums to pay respects to my grandparents and great-grandparents. I saw my grandfather's picture for the first time today, and I realised that I had been looking at a mini him all this while! My dad. Haha. Same face man. (: And when I went to my gramma's niche, tears just welled up in my eyes. I recall the times visiting her where she would pretend to be fierce and scold us but we all know she loved us so. (: I remember her painful departure, not so much pain for her physically but pain for us emotionally. She was a strong lady, my gramma, pulling the family through when my granddad was not with the family physically. And what I admire about her is her reflective self, whereby she can just sit there and think about the day's events when everyone was asleep. I miss my gramma even though she was not exactly model-gramma [she smoked! And I cannot stand smoke.] but she was in many ways more perfect than me. Memories of her will always stay with me. I also saw my great-grandparents niches, opposite each other haha! So cool. They'll be looking at each other all the time man. (: But yeah. Today was an experience to behold. Many firsts.
In the reflective mood.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
i thank God for my friends
it's so good to have friends. (: i mean, i never really knew how to treasure my friends. really. i'm quite bad at it actually. i think many people will attest to that. hahah! but okay that aside.
today was talking to xuemin (a colleague and a new-found friend) and we realised how similar our love-lives, or maybe the lack of it hahaha, was so similar. (: and she was so amused by it. haha! i like that girl. she's just so sweet, perhaps i like her because she's everything i'm not and what i hope to be. but the point is, i like her. (:
and in church, i've got ling, and lately, sandy too. (: funny cos we're all of different ages. ling, me then sandy. but somehow we all face similar things and it's so nice to know that you're not alone in many problems. (:
i just love my life right now. God. Friends. loving family. What more could i ask for, really. (:
today was talking to xuemin (a colleague and a new-found friend) and we realised how similar our love-lives, or maybe the lack of it hahaha, was so similar. (: and she was so amused by it. haha! i like that girl. she's just so sweet, perhaps i like her because she's everything i'm not and what i hope to be. but the point is, i like her. (:
and in church, i've got ling, and lately, sandy too. (: funny cos we're all of different ages. ling, me then sandy. but somehow we all face similar things and it's so nice to know that you're not alone in many problems. (:
i just love my life right now. God. Friends. loving family. What more could i ask for, really. (:
Sunday, April 02, 2006
i thank God for my cell group!
I had the funnest time in a while today!
Oh man big hugs to ling and sandra. These two girls are such sweetums. (: And every single extra day I'm spending with them I'm finding them to be nicer and nicer heeheehee. (: I love my wacky cell. And thank you ling for wanting to go to sentosa today (:
Even though I always have to wash dishes (and I mean loads of them) before AND after cell, and have to mop floors, it's worth it. mai.selle.rawqkx.beek.tai-m.
Sentosa was fun today I think. Got something off my chest and my mind. Had nice time talking about people and looking at different people, some with more self-esteem, and a lot more self-confidence. Haha but as I always say, anything can work for or against you. Oh wells you know what I mean (:
And we had a nice sharing time after cell. (: -looks at sandra and ling- Ahhh. What we said shall stay in the walls of my room.
Goodnights everybody i'm in sucha good mood. Heehee.
Oh man big hugs to ling and sandra. These two girls are such sweetums. (: And every single extra day I'm spending with them I'm finding them to be nicer and nicer heeheehee. (: I love my wacky cell. And thank you ling for wanting to go to sentosa today (:
Even though I always have to wash dishes (and I mean loads of them) before AND after cell, and have to mop floors, it's worth it. mai.selle.rawqkx.beek.tai-m.
Sentosa was fun today I think. Got something off my chest and my mind. Had nice time talking about people and looking at different people, some with more self-esteem, and a lot more self-confidence. Haha but as I always say, anything can work for or against you. Oh wells you know what I mean (:
And we had a nice sharing time after cell. (: -looks at sandra and ling- Ahhh. What we said shall stay in the walls of my room.
Goodnights everybody i'm in sucha good mood. Heehee.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Today, for the very first time, I finally understood what this song meant. After singing it for definitely more than a hundred times, it was finally so real to me. (: This one year set aside for God is really doing me a whole lot of good. I've learnt so much.
Honour your parents.
You carry my message to the generations.
You are the evidence of My power to love your parents.
Thank you God. (:
Honour your parents.
You carry my message to the generations.
You are the evidence of My power to love your parents.
Thank you God. (:
