old
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
dear Pearl, keep praying, keep believing.
I believe in You, Father
I believe in Your love
I believe in You, Jesus
Seated in Heaven above
I believe in You, Holy Spirit
In Your power and might
I believe in You, Jesus
You are my life
I believe You do miracles
You heal the sick and raise the dead
You open blinded eyes to see
You do it over and over again
I believe You do miracles
The lame shall walk and leap and run
Broken hearts are mended
You do it over and over again
I believe in Your love
I believe in You, Jesus
Seated in Heaven above
I believe in You, Holy Spirit
In Your power and might
I believe in You, Jesus
You are my life
I believe You do miracles
You heal the sick and raise the dead
You open blinded eyes to see
You do it over and over again
I believe You do miracles
The lame shall walk and leap and run
Broken hearts are mended
You do it over and over again
Thursday, May 25, 2006
ageing.
often, i see older people, more mature people lose their sense of optimism. been through a tough life? maybe. seen reality? i cannot disagree. yet the way that kids approach life is full of curiousity, open-ness and with raw bursting energy. we "MATURED" people have lost that, that which we sometimes refer to as innocence. i see older folks around me becoming more and more pessimistic, and i tell myself, oh man i don't want to be like that. but somehow we're bound to get there one day. it's a matter of time? i hope not.
was on the train today and was rather disturbed by what i saw. not that it was very offensive, no. but rather, it was, if you'd like to call it, enlightenment. especially after going for iSOM (international school of missions), and i see so many people who don't even respect themselves. it's rather sad and i had a lump in my throat, could feel my eyes burning. people need to know God! and i don't know how to share it. i feel so lousy and incompetent sometimes. the only way i know how to is to try my best to lead an excellent life for God, though i think that in itself is one huge challenge.
on a lighter note, the past 2 days at work had been a mad rush but at least i no longer feel resentful against those that literally THROW their work at me and jesline, expecting us to finish it for them. and i had a wonderful time with yi-mei and edna on tues and today. they're such darlings! (:
was on the train today and was rather disturbed by what i saw. not that it was very offensive, no. but rather, it was, if you'd like to call it, enlightenment. especially after going for iSOM (international school of missions), and i see so many people who don't even respect themselves. it's rather sad and i had a lump in my throat, could feel my eyes burning. people need to know God! and i don't know how to share it. i feel so lousy and incompetent sometimes. the only way i know how to is to try my best to lead an excellent life for God, though i think that in itself is one huge challenge.
on a lighter note, the past 2 days at work had been a mad rush but at least i no longer feel resentful against those that literally THROW their work at me and jesline, expecting us to finish it for them. and i had a wonderful time with yi-mei and edna on tues and today. they're such darlings! (:
For old time's sake...
lynette, we really do miss having you around.
God never fails to put a smile on my face. (:
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
kor kor said something that really struck me. he said, "my motto in life is NOT TO CUT CORNERS. lead an excellent life for God." and i was like.. wow. yeah that's it. that's how i want to lead my life too! even though it's like really hard, esp with such a trying work environment (lucky the three 'J's aka bosses are nice!). sometimes i feel really bad, like i come home totally bushed, and i get into a really snappy mood. it's really bad, i know, and i'm trying so hard to correct it. of course there's the God-factor, or else nothing works eh!
keep on keeping on!
keep on keeping on!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
breaking point
right now, i feel like i'm a rubberband being stretched. to the point of breaking. smapping. losing all sense of reasoning. i think i'm having lots of white hair now! ARGHHH.
i hate playing this game of charade. i hate it when i know i have to pretend nothing is wrong when in fact i'm just so broken inside. and somehow i can finally understand what tengjin is talking about. the closer we are, the less likely i'll share my deepest fears. in some ironic way, i can relate to that. no i don't play charades if i can help it. but the closer you are, well it's likely that i'd put up a brave front so you wouldn't worry at all.
nobody can see past that wall i erected.
i hate playing this game of charade. i hate it when i know i have to pretend nothing is wrong when in fact i'm just so broken inside. and somehow i can finally understand what tengjin is talking about. the closer we are, the less likely i'll share my deepest fears. in some ironic way, i can relate to that. no i don't play charades if i can help it. but the closer you are, well it's likely that i'd put up a brave front so you wouldn't worry at all.
nobody can see past that wall i erected.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
i no longer know what i should look forward to : weekdays or weekends.
weekdays i'm filled with dread when it comes to fighting yet another battle in the office, be it with the stubborn china-teachers or the nose-in-the-air angmoh teachers (worse still when it comes to their spouses!) or monstrous colleagues or people in other departments who just bully you because you're a temp staff. trust me, eeling, being a parasite of society sounds REALLY tempting. and after looking through june's calendar of events, i really think my colleagues are going to die if me and jesline quit. right, now you laugh, can push all the work to me and jesline right. when we quit, let's see who has the last laugh, us or you, oh monstrous one.
weekends i'm so busy i cram in as much as i can until it no longer is a rest period for me. sometimes i think i'm busier in the weekends then in the weekdays, not that i don't enjoy those activities of course. i do, but i get so breathless all i really want to do is to STOP and relax. that seems like quite a faded memory now - being free and easy.
come to think of it, i'm really looking forward to uni life. a new chapter in my life, new challenges. the best part? i don't have to think about letters of acceptance or education allowances or school placement. no more contracts, expatriate teachers, ad-hoc application forms.
the only reason i'm still hanging on is because jo yi's been such a dear and i know how they're really going to die if we quit.
O LORD! PLEASE HELP ME!
weekdays i'm filled with dread when it comes to fighting yet another battle in the office, be it with the stubborn china-teachers or the nose-in-the-air angmoh teachers (worse still when it comes to their spouses!) or monstrous colleagues or people in other departments who just bully you because you're a temp staff. trust me, eeling, being a parasite of society sounds REALLY tempting. and after looking through june's calendar of events, i really think my colleagues are going to die if me and jesline quit. right, now you laugh, can push all the work to me and jesline right. when we quit, let's see who has the last laugh, us or you, oh monstrous one.
weekends i'm so busy i cram in as much as i can until it no longer is a rest period for me. sometimes i think i'm busier in the weekends then in the weekdays, not that i don't enjoy those activities of course. i do, but i get so breathless all i really want to do is to STOP and relax. that seems like quite a faded memory now - being free and easy.
come to think of it, i'm really looking forward to uni life. a new chapter in my life, new challenges. the best part? i don't have to think about letters of acceptance or education allowances or school placement. no more contracts, expatriate teachers, ad-hoc application forms.
the only reason i'm still hanging on is because jo yi's been such a dear and i know how they're really going to die if we quit.
O LORD! PLEASE HELP ME!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
My smaller, green cactus stands outside at the balcony,
hollari, hollari, hollaro.
What custom I red roses, what custom I red poppy,
hollari, hollari, hollaro.
And if a bad watch what speaks rude,
I get my cactus and that pricks, prick, pricks.
My smaller, green cactus stands outside at the balcony,
hollari, hollari, hollaro.
Flowers in the garden, so twenty types of roses, tulips and Narzissen,
the fine people, that afford wants to know today I all not at all.
One find´t usually the women similarly to the flowers that carry it gladly.
Yet I won daily: That is not should led say possible, what´n that otherwise of me.
Do today around viere, knock at the door, nanu, visit so early at the day?
Mr. ruffle of the house next door was it, he says: "Verzeihn you, if I ask."
They have´n yet a cactus out there at the balcony
hollari, hollari, hollaro.
Did that fall hold so just down, what it therefrom?
Hollari, hollari, hollaro.
It did not fall on the face whether´s believe or,
now knows me I that yourgreen cactus pricks, pricks, pricks.
Proved´n you your cactus please elsewhere
hollari, hollari, hollaro.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
[Today at Y.E.S.]
God, in all His fury, lashed out at the unworthy who were kneeling at His feet. "Don't give me that nonsense about you not wanting to hurt me."
"You're no better than those pharisees who instigated the whippings on my beloved Son. You're no better than Judas Iscariot, who betrayed My Son and I for that little bit of gain. You're not even better than the dogs, for at least they recognise their Master."
But Jesus pleaded, "Father, You're mercy personified. Father, I was slain so that they might live. Father, forgive."
And Daddy God, seeing the weaknesses of His creation and yet still loving them, hardened His heart towards them no more.
"You're no better than those pharisees who instigated the whippings on my beloved Son. You're no better than Judas Iscariot, who betrayed My Son and I for that little bit of gain. You're not even better than the dogs, for at least they recognise their Master."
But Jesus pleaded, "Father, You're mercy personified. Father, I was slain so that they might live. Father, forgive."
And Daddy God, seeing the weaknesses of His creation and yet still loving them, hardened His heart towards them no more.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
murdered whales.
submissions.
application forms.
PFs and CDs and the like.
CSS maps.
Interviews.
the dreaded PM2S.
i do so much i get paid so little. plus all the nightmares i've been having about work. i'm going bonkers i tell you.
if only they had a degree for photocopying. i'll pass with first class honours man.
submissions.
application forms.
PFs and CDs and the like.
CSS maps.
Interviews.
the dreaded PM2S.
i do so much i get paid so little. plus all the nightmares i've been having about work. i'm going bonkers i tell you.
if only they had a degree for photocopying. i'll pass with first class honours man.
Monday, May 01, 2006
went for arise practice today. what can i say, its awesome, just as what chris o brien would say. (: yup. we learnt 3 new dances. actually only one is really new. live it up. oh man its really fun, love that dance. then theres j-e-s-u-s, and daddy God, which is like, signing. so not that bad. but live it up is really tiring! and we did that plus many times of you are the one. oh man my arms and legs are breaking off. just one poke and i think theyll just drop off or something. =l
anyhows todays session was especially good because after we sang daddy God, there was a time of worship. it wasnt just a dance practice. it was Spirit-led too. (:
i love ARISE practices. cant wait for june10.
anyhows todays session was especially good because after we sang daddy God, there was a time of worship. it wasnt just a dance practice. it was Spirit-led too. (:
i love ARISE practices. cant wait for june10.
